Contemplating what it is to be empty: to have an empty mind. What is that like? Also, how this relates to expectations and attachment: what is it like to be without expectations and attachments?
sat Naam 😊
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As I see it, attachment is when I want someone to make me happy. As opposed to Love, when I want someone to be happy (and I do everything I can for this, whether that makes me happy or not). From what I see, my relationships are still sometimes a mix of those two, sometimes balancing more to one side or to another (a work in progress!). So attachment is very much related to expectations, to ego centeredness. There's a holding tight believing "my happiness is there", grasping, being filled with fear of loosing, of change,... Attachment in my experience brings only suffering. It wants and when it doesn't get what it wants, unhappiness is not far away. Love lets the other one free. There's no expectation. And if I don't look much into it, it can seem as being frustration, renunciation (because you listen to the other one's needs, not yours)... but it is actually Joy. My happiness is in my own hands. I don't put this on other's shoulders. I take responsibility and it sets me free. I read some of your comments and you somehow linked non-attachment to detachment. To me non-attachment is real love... With detachment, one is closing every door of one's heart. With love, one is opening them so much there's only peace.
Concerning emptiness, I have to make a little mental gymnastic here, because within Buddhism that term has such a specific meaning, I am used to that one too much. So an empty mind... What I experienced in class was: in order to be able to be filled with Grace, with love, with joy,... one needs to empty the space. It's like a bowl filled with water. If you try to pour more water, it will just overflow. Nothing new gets in. There needs to be silence in order to listen.
In my indulgence of completely overthinking this seemingly simple concept, here are some of my musings :)
The word just empty alone bothers me. So, I wanted to investigate why! Here are the meanings that I found for the word EMPTY as a noun. If we say the mind is empty it is used as a noun or I think a state of being in this case. These are some words associated with empty: deserted, devoid, dry, hollow, unfilled, uninhabited, unoccupied, vacant.
Or is it EMTPY without expectation? Without attachment... I think the idea behind empty is more about having an open mind with no expectations. No attachments.. Its the attachment that brings the suffering.
The glass - half full or half empty? I think the darn glass is broken. When something precious is broken, we know the outcome. Perhaps if we know its going to shatter anyway, we may treat it with extra gentleness. Theres no attachment to full or empty - there's a knowing that its broken, it will shatter and so lets enjoy it as it is - in its perfect imperfect - full well knowing it is going to perish. Life is like the broken glass. All of us are born with our perfect imperfections, slightly cracked and one step closer to releasing the human experience each day. If we can accept this, can we treat life with a more gentle, loving way at the same time accepting that this will end?
I gaze into the eyes of my beautiful golden doodles and I see a loving emptiness, an openness and unconditional pure LOVE. Isn't it so that we are must be full of love to be open to give and serve?
MAYBE the answer is to simply stay empty?
JUST FEEL EMPTY, BE EMPTY and allow myself to be one with it. Instead of trying to fill the emptiness with things, ideas or experiences, maybe empty can transcend. From this space, one can observe the way we 'think' things are vs how they truly are, . Staying in the gap or the open void, the place where the truth resides... The part of us that last forever and won't disappear on a whim. From this space, comes an allowing and trust of the guru. Allowing the mind to fill with his wisdom and love as seeds of intention from within can blossom, surrender the mind with his wisdom.
I was wondering yesterday about what if I have no expectations. Then I also have no great expectation, the joy of anticipation... :) it still felt wonderful the emptiness... have a lovely day. Sarmina.
Hariprya you are amazing. Such amazing thoughts. I too have that strength of adopting a stray cat
That was Izzy and shes been here since she was 6.She is now 15. I know she is my greatest attachment to this planet. She has shown me so much though in return.I know I have the capacity to love and to put someone else before my self.I feel empty too and detached from mundane and meaningless things when I focus on helping someone like Izzy.
Worries about housework,laundry get put on the back burner.
Now detachment and emptiness together is different for me. When I do class and can focus 100% with no distraction I get the empty of stress vibe.Like you Hariprya pain is a fairly constant thing for me but during class many times its not there.Sometimes when it is, I feel the pain being dissolved and pushed away and actually see it in colours in my minds eye leaving the body.I do not focus on that but try to go with the 'noticing'what Sopurkh talked about the other day or the emptiness is lost and fills up with my lack of emptiness.
When I feel empty, I feel like any challenge I am presented with, and ready to serve those who come my way. To be completely honest emptiness is something I struggle with because there always is some part of me that is in major pain, never below a 7 and that is distracting! There is part of me always trying to balance it with something good, which is effort. I am working on letting things flow more so...
Last week the most fabulous thing happened. Mario and Saraswati phoned me into a laughing yoga, and they said the same thing, to "drop expectations", so I did. Then I had all these new experiences like hearing my friends roar with laughter for the first time, or laughing so hard I that my cheeks had to massaged.
This exercise and this week were so healing because all that was required of me was my voice. I opened myself up to serve the group more and help was needed I could recognize it, instead of being lost in myself. It felt like flying.
Attachments can be scary be cause they are like stored suffering. Eventually that thing will one day be gone, and missing it causes the suffering. Its ok to have things I think as long as you are ok with also not having it. That being said it is hard to love a person/animal without getting attached, but some things are worth risking, possibly? I personally can't go through life saying no to all love, even if I know there will be heartache. Example: I adopt unwanted cats knowing that they might get sick and that someday they will die, I know this. Having a little furry friend to cuddle up to every night far outweighs a life without her.
I might be becoming a crazy cat lady but so be it ;) Sat Nam